I didn't have to get an abortion.  It turned out that I had an incomplete miscarriage.  I was in the hospital last weekend getting a D & C to try and stop the bleeding.  I've been bleeding for 8 weeks now but it should be over any day now.

I had an exasperating time in the hospital cuz I was waiting to have surgery so they could check if the pregnancy was in my fallopian tube.  They didn't bother to tell me that they changed their mind until I was in the operating room, just before they were going to administer the anesthetic.  They also did me first thing in the morning (the next day, I had to wait all day and all night in the hospital when I thought I would just be there for day surgery) and didn't even give me time to call my mom to tell her it was time. 

I couldn't help from crying when I got into the operating room because the nurses there were asking me what was going to happen and I told them I thought they were going to do an endoscopy (cuz that's what my doctor said the day before I got admitted) but it said in my chart they were doing a D & C!  Neither of the gynecologists on call came to see me to explain anything.  And when it was over the doctor who did the D & C never bothered to tell me how it went-the nurses told me he left the hospital and said they legally weren't allowed to explain how it went, though I doubt he said anything to them about it anyways.  So basically I'm still assuming it went well since I don't do a follow up for a few weeks now.

I was sad afterwards, the nurses thought maybe I had post traumatic stress disorder from miscarrying.  Once I left the hospital though I felt much better.  My mom says I had ptsd from being in the hospital cuz the nurses were so busy that day, they wanted me out of there so they could have my bed but they were too busy to do the necessary things to get me out of there faster.  I had a room with 2 other patients and they were more concerned about them (which I understand, all I had to worry about was fainting from the anesthetic) cuz they had bigger problems.  I just wanted to be alone when it was all over cuz my sister came to visit with my mom and was asking stupid questions, making stupid comments on how I looked.  I wanted to strangle her.

I'm glad it's over.  I shouldn't have to feel like shit by my doctors for having an unwanted pregnancy and miscarrying.  My gynecologist seemed worried that I wouldn't show up for the surgery since my predicament dragged out this long.  When all this time the doctors were telling me I was fine, still pregnant and not overly concerned that I had been bleeding so long.  I'm not a doctor!  I shouldn't have to feel like shit just because no one wants to explain anything to me! :'(

It's been kind of awkward at work cuz this Catholic kid that I was training this week asked me about the tiny holes/bruises on my arms from all the blood tests I've been taking and the IV I had in me while I was in the hospital.  He doesn't seem too judgemental, but I didn't like explaining it.

Oh well, the bruises will go away soon!  I just can't wait to have sex regularily again.  Once the bleeding stops I should be able to get back onto birth control.  XD